Fall's moved in - I don't think it ever got to 70 degrees...though I'm still wearing shorts and hoping that summer will last a bit longer since neither Moe or I have had much of a summer so far.  Watch, we'll have to go to Vegas or California to enjoy more summer.

Didn't do much today other than sleep in, watch some TV, drive around for a bit and then finally just said fuck it and took a nap this evening.  Moe's closing with Sharon, so I figure I'll go and visit later, but in the meantime I'm starving and I can't find anything I want to make for dinner, so it just might be take-out tonight.

You know how slow it was today?  I rolled all the coins that Moe and I have been saving up in this big coffee tin.  I was kind of surprised, over $80 worth of change in it - that's a lot of coins.

Moe's leaving for NH tomorrow - so that leaves me to my own devices on Monday and Tuesday...home tomorrow for Labor Day, but then in the office on Tuesday, so it shouldn't be too bad.

I get to be a dog sitter for Sharon's dog Thursday through Sunday so I will get to have my puppy that I want for a few days.  Then I can start reminding Moe how great a pet is.

8-30-03

Didn't make it to P-town today.  Moe was up late with closing and I didn't get back from Mohegan with Sharon until 3 (though I did come home with money, so no complaints there).  We did however go on a shopping expedition to find stuff for the house and in the process decided we want to get a Playstation 2 when we get the chance because we're tired of the plain old Playstation.

Otherwise, nothing too exciting - dinner and a movie with Brendan and now it's off to bed.

Moe's got to work tomorrow night - so I'll be bumming around trying to find something to do tomorrow with someone in the evening.  Hopefully I won't end up down at the store with him (not that I don't mind spending time with him, I just don't want to be there anymore than I have to be).

Moe's getting excited, there's some hurricane out in the Atlantic floating around.

8-29-03

Labor Day weekend already...jeez...

I slept in today and did just about nothing - strange feeling all day too - never got my bearings completely centered, so wandered around in a bit of  daze.  I hate days like that.  Of course, I still got up before Moe, made breakfast, made cookies, drank lots of coffee, made lunch, cleaned my car (inside and out) and finally watched a bunch of TV.  Now I'm at a loss for what to do for the rest of the evening since Moe is closing and I feel like I was run over by a freight train.  I guess a week of late nights will do that for you.

Maybe I'll take a shower and see how I feel then.

8-28-03

Summer to fall in a blink...it's in the lower 50's now outside.  I just got back from North Adams, were it was downright cold when I got out of my meeting. 

Thank god for comp time - after 2 night meetings in a row (one in Hyannis and the other in North Adams), I am shitassed tired.  So since I earned over 3 days of comp time all told (over 8 hours of time and a half each day), I figured I had no need to be in the office tomorrow.

So for now, I'm going to bed...but I'll be around all weekend.  Moe and I might go to P-town on Saturday, depending on the weather.

8-24-03

Strange to be writing early in the morning (it's only 8) but I figured since I'm going to be forced to work at McDonalds today and then I am going to see Tori Amos tonight, I won't be around.

I can't even begin to imagine how tired I am going to be tomorrow at work, but I'm not trying to think about it.  What I am trying to do is not have to come back to McDonalds tomorrow night to put together the silly menu board.  I'm trying my damnest to back out and remove myself from the whole "I'll work when you need help" kind of thing because it's one of the reasons I'm running myself ragged half of the time and I figure it's one stress that I don't need.  I'd much rather have an actual weekend to do nothing, than working through most of it and never actually have a day off.

Tori should be great though - this will be the 3rd time this year I get to see her.

8-23-03

A day without any requirements, you don't know how sweet it was.

Slept in (which was 7:30 since I went to bed so early last night) and then spent the day cleaning the house and looking for a book shelf (eventually found one at Target).  I went to put that together and I must have had a jinx somewhere.  First I managed to slice open one finger when the screwdriver slipped and then I realized that I had worn the skin off part of my palm from twisting the screwdriver directly against my skin.  At that point I pulled out the power tools and it went together without anymore problems.

After Moe got home we went out with Brendan, over to Natick to go to the mall and some other stores.  I finally got more memory for my computer so that's running a bit better and I got some clothes at A&E, even though the sales clerk was a little snotty bitch.  I had thought something was on sale, but when it rang up, it wasn't, so I wanted to return it, and she got all attitude with me, so I gave it right back.  Held the line up for a good 10 minutes while she had to undo it all. 

Afterwards dinner and ice cream and now Moe's already asleep and I'm heading off soon too.

8-22-03

I guess that everyone is entitled to their mental breakdown day and mine was yesterday.  I don't understand what came over me, perhaps just a lot of the stresses of the last few weeks sort of coalesced into this one horrible day.  I had been up late because of the night before with Stephanie (I was actually late an hour into work because I overslept) and then the entire day, I just went further and further downhill, feeling more and more miserable and more and more tired and strung out.

By the time I got off the train and to my car, I was just about a mess.  I drove home getting more and more worked up and upset and it culminated with me telling Moe that I wouldn't be coming down to Mickey D's to help last night.  I just flat out said "no," and maybe that was part of it.  I was starting to get tired of always having to help out.  I mean, I do it because I care, but I have a job I work at everyday and I need some "me" time, or at least time where I'm not responsible to do anything.  The "help" had turned into a full-time on-call worker basically and to top it all of, I had become a sort of McContractor, handling all the jobs no one else could do.  Don't get me wrong, I won't pass up extra money, but too much is a bad thing.

So I broke down with Moe, came home, crawled into bed, got up around midnight, then slept right through until 5:30 this morning, which incidentally was when Moe got home from work last night because he had to change all the light bulbs I didn't and the computer broke while he was closing the store.  So nothing like a little guilt in the morning.  But I really had to, I would have cracked last night.

Maybe part of it was my Mom telling me, "I'm not going to use your Grandfather's money to pay off the stuff you owe, he wouldn't do that for me, I won't do it for you."  Ehh hem...that's exactly what you spent the last 15 years since my Grandmother died bitching about - that he wouldn't spend a nickel on any of us because he was more interested in his god damn step family and nazi girlfriend than all of us.  That was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.  It's not like I'm looking for a handout, but half the debt I have is because of things that he had promised to pay for, but then never followed through with.  There's my school loans, my car loan and then the credit cards that slowly built up because I was paying the other shit.

Maybe I'm just a bitter queen, but it sure doesn't seem right.  She is going to get a very large amount of money and the money I need is very small proportionally the whole thing, I believe I figured it out to be 1/24 of the entire inheritance.

At least I have nothing to do tonight or tomorrow.  Instead I am going to focus on getting this damn apartment in order and finishing all the half finished things we have going on.  It's not really all that much, but neither of us has had time to do it.  So that's what I'm going to do.

As for work, would you like to know how bored I was?  I answered the phone twice, listened to two voice mails, and spent the rest of the day on epinions and on email...yes, my time was so very useful and well spent.  Perhaps if I was actually given the authority to do something, I would have been able to keep busy while my boss was not in the office, but since I didn't, and he never "okayed" a bunch of stuff, I was stuck sitting there.

8-21-03

Bad day - can't put my finger on it.  I'm just collapsing and going to bed and hoping that tomorrow's better.  Work couldn't get much worse, so there's a positive.

8-20-03

Went out with Stephanie and Moe tonight - she's going back to school and so the two of us were giving her a sendoff dinner last night.  Was good to catch up, but sad that she's on her way back to school so soon.

Otherwise, work as usual sucked, the weather is too hot, and I'm way too tired...

8-18-03

Perhaps there's big goings on in the office.  The director called in all of the managers to the Conference Room and shut the door and I wasn't able to "stretch my ears" to hear what was going on.  I half expect the word to come down that the Governor has done away with our agency, since a) he hates state employees, b) he and his cohorts have no idea why our agency even exists, and c) we spend lots of bond money for projects.  So I will have to wait until tomorrow to see what the hub bub was about because I might be able to get it out of a few people.  That or maybe we're all getting raises.  That sure would be something.

My trip to NY was uneventful, save for the ride home.  I spent most of the weekend just hanging out with my Mom, taking her shopping and stuff like that (mother and gay son activities) and then occasionally having to play the straight son for my father and help cut down trees, build rock walls, moving dirt and other wonderful activities.  Strangely enough, I enjoy them both just as much (it must be that buried little gay country boy down there somewhere).

What was eventful was the drive home.  I left the Catskills and got onto the NY State Thruway in Coxasackie and it was like someone took a bucket and was dumping it on the highway.  It was raining so hard that just about everyone (save me, the crazy one) had pulled over and were waiting out the rain.  I continued, and eventually, after about 20 minutes finally got out from under the thunderstorm (which it turns out, flooded half of the Hudson valley).  I thought I was off scott-free, but low and behold, I'm cruising along on the MassPike, just about to Westfield (about 10 miles or so) and traffic stops at the rest area at the top of the big hill.  I get WBZ here in Boston and I hear on the traffic that the Pike is backed up from 84, all the way to Westfield, about 90 miles.  So I make it Westfield after about an hour, get off the Pike, take 202 to Holyoke, which would have been simple, except the Westfield Airport's air show was letting out at the same time, so it took me an hour to go about 20 miles.  Finally I made it to Route 9, which I followed almost to Worcester, before I cut back down to the Pike, which at this point wasn't jammed anymore and made my way home.  The typical 3 hour trip, took me a full six hours and with only one pit stop to boot!  My legs were crossed quite tightly sitting on the Pike in stop and go traffic.

I love oyster crackers, they are the ultimate snack treat.  Just enough salt and cracker, but not overwhelming.  I must hide the box now, so I don't finish it.

I updated some of the links today on the links page and in the visitors' page.  I've also got two new reviews up on epinions.

Bad oyster crackers, bad...go away...

8-14-03

Light's out on half the northeast...jeez...and Massachusetts wasn't even touched...I sure could have used a day off because of no power.

Turret's Girl tried to apologize to me today for flipping out last week when I asked her to stop tapping her pencils.  It took me 5 minutes to realize that she was talking to me - she was just standing in her cube talking.  Then I had a meeting with the Director, so I was like "well this is a nice conversation, but I have to go," and I went to the Director's office to talk with him.  Cruel bitch that I am, I know, but it was sweet to just walk away.  It didn't help that half the office was behind her, where she couldn't see, but I could and they were making faces at me.  I managed to not start laughing in her face.

Tomorrow I'm off to NY to spend the weekend at my Parent's cabin.  Hopefully the power is back up there since I don't feel like spending a completely rustic weekend there and I want to get some shopping done in Albany while I'm there.

8-13-03

I wish I had sent myself the email that I sent to my friend John at work today expressing my frustration with my current employment situation.  I am beyond sick and tired of this job.  Thank god I have at least started to send out some resumes to see if I can find anything.  At this point, I would almost rather be a custodian somewhere than work where I am.  I've never been at a job or seen a job where you need all these qualifications and shit, but you never get to use a single one.  In 2 years, I have yet to use a single ounce of knowledge or experience that I have had.  I never get to make a decision because I am second guessed by upper management and this "oh my god I need to make the decision" management who feels that no decision is too small to but into and take over.  I can't even review a stupid report without my comments having to go through "review" to make sure we are saying the right things.  Well if the damn report sucks, it sucks people, not too many ways around that.  The latest and greatest thing we have to do is now prepare weekly "agendas" that review the work that we expect to complete in the upcoming week.

Well besides work, things have been good.  My family is getting settled now that the funeral and all is behind us for my Grandfather.  I am heading to NY this weekend to visit and say "hi" to everyone and see how my Mom is doing.  Here at home Moe and I finally have the bedroom, the bathroom and the living room finished.  No more moving or packing in those rooms.  We just have the rest of the house now.  The kitchen and the dining room will probably be the biggest challenges.

I've gotten the pictures from NH up and the pictures from the Spirit of Boston are there too.

8-11-03

Back from NH, but it's fairly late, so the pictures and the stories are going to have to wait.  All in all, it was wet and rainy, but it was a lot of fun.  Out of the 3 days, it rained for 2 of them and on Saturday night, it rained hard enough that the rivers in NH started to flood, let's just leave it at that.

8-9-03

On our way out the door this morning for our mini-vacation in New Hampshire.  Be back on Monday evening.

8-5-03

I hate this weather!  When did we move to Georgia?  It's in the upper 80's everyday and the humidity is somewhere up near 100% and it rains then the sun comes out and then it rains.  It feels like you could push the air out of the way, it's that thick.  You step outside of the a/c and suddenly your entire body is covered in sweat.  I only went out twice today and that was enough for me.

I tackled the new entertainment center I got while I was in NY - we finally have a completed living room.  I got the new TV hooked up, along with all the associated stereo equipment.  It's fucking sweet...30" widescreen HDTV with full surround sound...oh yeah, I am loving it.

Moe only had to work 4 to 8 today, but is opening tomorrow, and he had to work on the schedule for everyone else, so he's furiously working on that right now so he can get to bed before he has to get up tomorrow morning.

We went out to dinner with Sharon and ran from a/c to a/c.  Ugh it's disgusting out - even at 10 at night.

Tomorrow I'm off to go on the Spirit of Boston with all the other Mickey D managers, which should be fun.  I'm imagining us floating around Boston Harbor getting stuck in a thunderstorm.  I wonder what would happen...I guess you just get sent below deck and wait out the storm.  Maybe I'll bring some Dramamine with me in case it gets rough :)  It would be my luck to get sea sick.

I'm sad that tomorrow's my last day off and I have to go back to work on Thursday.  It's been so long I don't even remember what it's like anymore.  But I'm sure that once I'm there, I'll remember quickly how much I don't like my job.  At least it's only 2 days and then I'm off on a 3 day trip to NH.

8-4-03

Yes, I'm still alive.  Last Thursday (the 31st), I received a call from my parents that my grandfather wasn't doing too well and they expected him to pass away.  He did pass away by late that afternoon and I was on my way to NY. 

The wake was held on Friday, the funeral and burial on Saturday and then I spent Sunday and Monday at home helping out my Mom (it was her father) and trying to take care of as much as I could for her, so she wouldn't have to worry about it in the future.  The wake and the funeral went off without much of a hitch, much to his pre-planning.  The only near catastrophe was when I almost fell off the platform next to the grave because I lost my balance as I was stepping back so my Mom could step up and get the flag.  The whole thing was sad, but at least he is no longer suffering.  He went through a battle with cancer and his last week or so was horrible, so I am glad that he's no longer in pain.  I think my Mom feels the same way too - because she was there everyday with him and saw his ups and downs and it was so hard on her and now it's almost like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders.

Drove back to Boston tonight - left NY around 7 or so and got here around 10.  Not too bad with just a few minor stops along the way and no traffic to speak of.  At least it didn't rain the whole way - somehow, I must have managed to dart between showers the whole time because the worst that I got on the whole drive was some mist on the windshield.

I've got bereavement leave until Thursday - so I don't plan on being in the office until then.  Tomorrow and Wednesday I plan on using for relaxing and cleaning up the house.  I found an entertainment center for the new TV that I got in NY, so part of the two days will be putting that together.  The rest of the time - I'm relaxing (since if anyone read my horoscope in the July Journal, would know, I'm supposed to relax the entire month of August and I'm not off to too good of a start).

Wednesday is the Manager's outing for Mickey D's that I get to tag along on.  We'll be having dinner on the Spirit of Boston, doesn't that sound like fun!  And now I don't have to worry about trying to figure out the logistics of meeting them after work in Boston, I'll just go into Boston with them. 

Then this weekend we are going with Brendan to NH, so that should be fun if the weather would cooperate.